Play Fantasy Use your Fantasy skills to win Cash Prizes. Join or start a league today. Play Now
 
Tag:Alex Rodriguez
Posted on: July 20, 2010 9:31 am
Edited on: July 20, 2010 9:32 am
 

A-Rod Provides 600 Free Balls To Poor Fans

As covered extensively on ESPN, Alex Rodriguez is nearly to a huge milestone in Major League Baseball, providing 600 balls to people with crappy seats at games. Rodriguez, as a relatively poor boy in the Dominican Republic, always had horrible seats to baseball games and vowed to one day become a dominant power hitter to make up for it.

As he hit number 598 over the weekend, the Yankee announcers talked about the generosity of A-Rod.

"Only a few players in history have been this great with giving free souvenirs to poor baseball fans," the announcers stated. "Hank Aaron, Babe Ruth, and of course the super philanthropist Barry Bonds; the man who risked his fertility, health, and size of his testicles to be able to give balls to people who can barely see the batter during the game."

"And Alex still has a few years left, he could wind up as the most charitable slugger of all time," replied the other announcer.

Rodriguez himself has said it was his poor upbringing that has him trying to give out free items to those whose tickets cost less than a beer. He also runs charities on the side like Homers For The Homeless, where he goes out on the streets of New York and hits balls directly at homeless people from a short distance to give them a piece of the game they can keep. His charity has handed out over 1000 balls unofficially, and put over 200 people in the hospital.

How many balls he hands out by the end of his career is anybody's guess, but 600 is quite a milestone, and for those in the outfield, its always exciting when he comes to the plate.

SportsComedian.com

Posted on: May 5, 2009 9:14 am
 

SI Nearly Out Of Scandals To Accuse A-Rod Of

Despite her tell-all book on Alex Rodriguez coming out this week, Sports Illustrated's Selena Roberts may soon find herself out of a job. In her new book she reveals brand new scandals about A-Rod that have the entire sports world talking, such as high school steroids and pitch-tipping.

But her editors reveal that she may be out of good A-Rod stories to tell. Sources inside SI reveal that her latest pieces, "A-Rod Has Alien Baby With Queen Of Marxuus 11" and "Rodriquez Ate Cal Ripken To Absorb His Shortstop Power" are a bit of a stretch, even for them.

"I am still a great sportswriter, and I will prove to these doubters that there are still scandals out there I have no yet accused him of," fired back Roberts. "I spent all day going through books about baseball cheating, and I think I've found a few more of these I can get to stick on him. If you thought steroids were wild, wait until you hear about his spitballs when he turns a double play."

Her editors then suggested to Roberts that maybe she try to write about something other than A-Rod, but her response was "I don't understand what that means..."

SportsComedian.com
Discuss this article in the Forum!


Posted on: February 10, 2009 10:06 am
 

Player Busted As Only Person In 03 Not On Roids

Sports Illustrated published a story in their latest issue claiming that they have been leaked the results of the 2003 banned substance tests for major league baseball, and have found out the identity of the one player who was not on steroids at that time. Carlos Rivera, a first baseman for the Pirates in 03 was the only person in MLB to fail to get a positive steroids test that year.

Rivera's stats from the season, a .221 average and 3 homeruns, should have been an indication something was amiss. Players said they long suspected Rivera wasn't juicing, as he really really sucked, even for a Pirates player.

"I'm ashamed to call him a teammate," said Jason Kendall, then catcher for the Pirates. "To know that Carlos wasn't injecting himself before games to help us gain an unfair advantage, that's just not a team player. Even if he wanted to redeem himself now and juice up with me on the weekends, I don't think I'd even let him share my dirty needle. He lost that chance when he lost my respect."

Carlos conducted an exclusive interview with ESPN to talk about the story's allegations.

"I messed up," said Rivera to Peter Gammons. "I let my friends and family down, I let down the city of Pittsburgh, I let down all the children who look up to me and can't wait until they are old enough to buy the steroids the pros take, and most of all I let down all the illegal doctors who wanted to give me free experimental steroids. I'm sorry everyone. I should have been better than 10 RBI's that season, but I was young, and I didn't know what I was doing."

Gammons then asked Rivera if he was ashamed that his name would be the only one in the record books for the past decade that appeared without an asterisk by it.

"Yes, the lack of an asterisk will haunt me until the day I die. But that's the disdain I will have to live with."

While he is now a disgraced man, if all the records were to be discounted due to steroids, he is currently the active leader in homeruns since 2003 with three. As they are now forced by testing to be clean, players such as Alex Rodriguez and Barry Bonds have even contacted Rivera about how he achieves such power without juicing. They are attempting to duplicate his impressive unroided power numbers.

"I'm just glad I can help out some of these people," said Rivera. "Having gone through the awful ordeal of not using steroids, I think I can help them cope with having no muscles, trying so hard just to get a ball out of the infield. It's tough. I know I'm going to get laughed at when I take off my shirt at the pool and everyone sees my scrawny arms and chest. But, that's just a consequence of the choice I made back in 03, and I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life."

SportsComedian.com
Discuss this article in the Forum!

Posted on: January 27, 2009 10:23 am
 

Torre's Book Good Enough To Make Sports Fans Read

Joe Torre's new 477-page biography, The Yankee Years, about his time coaching in New York, has been getting a lot of buzz recently in sports outlets for its controversial content. In it, Torre talks about the selfishness of A-Rod, his mistreatment at the hands of management, and the bad personel decisions that derailed the team after their 2000 championship. It's being talked about on sport radio and discussed on ESPN, and has sports fans actually interested in trying out books.

"This new book technology sounds really cool," said Yankees fan Norm Caldwell. "I called my son and asked about it, and apparently what they can do now is print words on a bunch of pieces of paper and then bind it with a colorful cover. They can contain all kinds of cool stuff, sometimes even pictures! He said it's a lot like the internet, only you can bring it with you. What will these inventors think of next?"

Caldwell says he is going to pick up this new book thing and give it a try.

"I've never done one of these books before, but I like to be on the cutting edge of technology. My wife even recommended I try a few, like Pride & Prejudice, War & Peace, and Harry Potter. She says they have even more words than Torre's book! This is so exciting! I even found this amazing place called The Library, where apparently you can rent books for free! You just sign up and then can take anything you want from there, it's like a free Blockbuster! I don't know how that place stays open, as it sounds like a horrible business model."

SportsComedian.com
Discuss this article in the Forum!

Posted on: September 23, 2008 9:20 am
Edited on: September 23, 2008 9:32 am
 

Fans Remember Last Stadium Game During SNF Break

As Yankee Stadium saw its last professional baseball game played in it on Sunday, ESPN provided in-depth coverage of the game with the Orioles and their tribute to Yankees legends of the past and present. For sports fans, there is no more historic venue than the 85 year old monument to baseball. Therefore, many people at home who could not make it out to the final game saluted the stadium by flipping over to the ceremonies during a commercial break in the Packers-Cowboys Sunday Night Football game.

"When I was watching their video showcasing the many hall of famers who had graced that field, I couldn't help but get goosebumps," said Marty Klein, a sports fan from Buffalo. "But then I realized my two and a half minutes were up, so I had to change the channel back to the awesome early season football contest taking place. I've got the Green Bay running back on my fantasy team! I can't miss this thing!"

"I actually planned ahead, because I'm such a big Yankees fan in addition to my love of the Cowboys," said another fan, Dan Green. "So I Tivo'd the baseball game to watch after football. But then my Tivo alerted me that there was a brand new Desperate Housewives that overlapped the first hour, so I picked that instead. Then after that there was a great 30 minute infomercial on a potato peeling device called the Rotato. Then after that the game was half over, so I really wanted to record the rest, but I decided to tape just whatever was on The Weather Channel instead for 3 hours. Just in case some really cool weather came on out of nowhere, I couldn't risk it. But man, I love Yankee Stadium."

Some other fans planned to turn to the game during a commercial break, or even for the 15 minutes at halftime, but got distracted on the way up the channels from NBC to ESPN by the Emmys and a rerun of Frasier. One fan who suffered such a channel changing fate opined, "I will always have a special place in my heart for the original Yankee Stadium, and also that episode where Frasier and his father get trapped in an elevator together."

SportsComedian.com
Discuss this article in the Forum!
 
 
 
 
The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com